The Thing about Humanity
by The Create
Summary: Cas is human for the first time. Alternate beginning with Sam not dying and Cas falls close to the bunker. Destiel.


It was quiet and calm. The two brothers had never been more apprehensive as they sat across from each other, contemplating the events of the last four hours.

After Sam had passed out, Dean had to pull him into the back seat of the Impala. He drove to the bunker, the lights from the falling angels reflecting off the hood and into his eyes. He gripped the wheel tight, flooded with fear of what was to come. But right now he had to help his brother.

As he entered, Kevin came to confront him but then digressed in order to help Sam. They brought him on his bed, checked his vitals and determined he had passed out, possibly from exhaustion.

"Let him sleep Dean," Kevin said to a nervous Dean. "He's going to be fine. Probably better since the trials are over."

Dean said nothing.

"So...what exactly happened Dean? What was falling from the sky? Are the gates closed or not?"

Dean shook his head, "I think Metatron pulled something underhanded, which caused all the angels to spill out all over the goddamn world."

Kevin took a deep breath, "So those were...angels."

Dean nodded.

Kevin had a follow up question, but it was soon to be answered by a knock at the door. They exchanged uneasy glances.

Dean approached the bunker door, gun in hand. Kevin followed stiffly behind. He swung it open fast and cocked the gun, only to find it pointing at a familiar face.

"Cas," he whispered.

"Dean," Cas grunted back. He strode in with his back straight and no sign of injury, but his eyes were heavy and morose. He spoke very slow.

"May I sit down?"

Dean nodded, a surprised look in his face. The angel sat and leaned back, rubbing his eyes. He had walked a ways to get back, and found himself weak from exhaustion.

"Cas what happened to you? What did those bastards do to you?" Dean asked.

Cas looked over at him, and Dean was shocked at the expression of sorrow he didn't remember seeing before. Something was wrong.

"Metatron killed Naomi. And he used me to banish my siblings," said the tired angel. "Dean where's Sam?"

"Sam is fine Cas. What do you mean they used you?" Dean was staring at his friend, analyzing everything to see what was wrong. It was Kevin who had an answer.

"Your grace. Did he need your grace Castiel?"

They both looked surprised. "How did you know?" Said Cas.

"The tablet," he said. "I only got a few sentences of it. I remember one said something like 'take the angels grace'."

"His grace," Dean whispered almost inaudibly.

"That's why I had to come in through the door. I'm not an angel anymore," Cas said. He was breathing slowly and his head was nodding slightly. "What is wrong with me?"

"Cas, you're tired," said Kevin logically. "You need to sleep."

"I can't sleep now," he argued. But he sounded painfully exhausted.

"We all need to sleep Castiel," Kevin stood up to indicate he was going to find sleep too. "I know it's bad, but we won't be able to do anything until we can think clearly."

He looked over at Dean for some assurance. But the hunter was transfixed by the human on the couch. Trying to fathom the news. He finally realized what was said and cleared his throat.

"Right, we do all need to sleep. I just need a few hours. We can figure it out in the morning."

Cas looked almost afraid, but his body was uncommonly exhausted. The vessel was worn dangerously, and the soul of Jimmy had died and gone to the shell of heaven after the loss of grace. The human closed his eyes experimentally and lay down on the couch. In the coming days he would lose sleep nightly due to anxiety, but tonight he rested well.

Dean got only three hours of somewhat sleep, but it was enough. He woke up about the same time Sam came to.

Where Sam did in fact still look ragged, his face had more color and his voice was smooth.

"Dean what happened?"

"You passed out hours ago," Dean was drinking dark coffee. "I brought you here."

"Did you find anything out? You know, about the angels?"

Dean took a sip, "I was going to make sure you were safe first Sam. We were going to go out but you know what, we had no idea what to do. Kevin suggested we get some sleep before we get into action."

Sam sat across from his brother, and fiddled with his own hands. He had a lot to say, but the words wouldn't assemble themselves correctly.

"Should we wake Kevin? We can't just stay here like sitting ducks Dean. We aren't angel proofed."

Dean took a sip of his coffee nonchalantly, "We will give Cas about half an hour more to feel better, and then we'll start, alright?"

"Cas? What happened to him? Is he alright?"

Dean scratched his face. There was a noticeable sort if conflict going on in his head. "Cas is peachy. Right as rain. Just sleeping."

Sam nodded but then looked confused as the sentence set in.

"He's a human now Sammy," Dean looked at his brother. "Just like us."

Sam pulled his hair back, and took a deep breath. "Does that mean the other angels...?"

"I don't think so. Metatron personally took his grace. I don't know anything about the others."

Dean was calm. He looked very angry and very sad, but among that was a surplus of calm that made Sam anxious.

"Are you okay Dean?"

Dean looked up at his brother, and the calm deepened. "I'm sorry Sammy."

"For what?"

Dean swished the dregs of his coffee. "For not trusting you. I should have known, that I could trust you more than anyone."

"Dean it's okay I-"

"You redeemed yourself out there. Actually you redeemed yourself the day you jumped in that godforsaken pit. I just wish I would have seen that."

Sam smiled, and for once it was a bright smile not plagued by sorrow. "That means a lot...to me. And we can do this Dean, take care of the angels. We have a lot of people on our side."

Dean nodded but said nothing. Sam knew when his brother was masking his feelings behind a veil of masculinity.

A vague mumbling from outside caused them to start, and they realized how truly on edge they were. The noise faded and it became quiet and calm. The two brothers had never been more apprehensive, sitting across from each other, contemplating the events of the last four hours.

Cas said something from the other room.

"Dean."

And out of nowhere the emotion was readable on the older Winchester. A slurry of concern mix with... What was that?

Joy?

Sam followed him out of the room, quizzical expression on his face. Cas was lying in bed, eyes heavy and tired. He had never looked more human. And now Sam's brother failed to mask his true emotion.

Endearment.

"Sam how are you?"

"I'm fine. How about you Castiel?"

Cas smiled at Sam. A smile that was out of character but warm and real. Both brothers returned it.

"I'm better, but not as well as I'd like to be. Do you mind if I speak to Dean for a moment?"

Sam had always noticed Dean's slight affection for Castiel and it was prominent now, more then ever. He left the room, for the sake of politeness, but secretly wanted to know the content of their conversation.

"How does sleeping feel Cas?" Dean asked with a smile.

"Strange," he sat up. "Yet satisfying."

They looked at each other solemnly. The room was warm and bright, the calm before the storm.

"What do you think is going to happen now?" Dean asked finally, because maybe he would get an answer.

Cas was unsure. He was unable to tell how much angelic power was burnt up in the fall, and how much of a threat his siblings would be to the human race. He avoided an answer.

"How strange human emotions are," he said wistfully.

Dean scoffed a harsh laugh, "I thought angels had no emotion."

It hurt, and Cas showed it. Dean felt sorry but did not take it back.

"Our emotions are vast and complicated, harder to show, harder to realized. But yours...I never realized..."

He paused and stared forward dazed, "Never realized how wonderful it is for you. One too many times I've been plagued by feelings I can't decipher. And now it reveals itself to me, in the form of tears or the form of laughter."

Dean was strangely entranced by this speech. He didn't realize the profound difference between angels and humans, and how it had truly separated them from each other.

"What are you feeling now Cas?"  
Dean came and sat at the foot of the bed. "About your brothers and sisters?"

Cas removed himself from the sheets, not wearing his signature jackets. He sat with his feet over the edge, about two feet away from his good friend.

"I'm sad. They are not going to adjust easily. I don't know how to handle a situation like this."

He placed his hand on his forehead and heaved a great sigh. Dean was surprised at how human he looked at that moment. He rubbed his friend on the back to comfort him.

Cas looked over at him and smiled a wonderful smile. "At least one good thing came from this."

_Disclaimer: I own nothing _

**This was written before season 9 kicked off, set right after season finally. Sam isn't dying, and Cas wasn't states away. Reviews would be hella rad.**

"Oh yeah, what's that Cas?" Dean was returning the endearing smile, his arm now resting on Cas' back.

"I've been...plagued by the strangest feeling for the last two years. It's was an emotion too complex for me to figure out. It's been a terrible struggle."

"Did you figure it out?" Dean asked as Cas scooted his way a small bit.

"Yes. Turns out it wasn't an emotion at all," he met eyes with the Winchester. "But rather a wonderful recipe of many emotions. That's why I didn't understand it. It makes a lot of sense to me now."

It was silent enough that their breathing seemed much louder. Dean concentrated on his reflection in the human's shiny eyes. They were closer then they were before.

"Well...what did you figure out?" Dean asked in a whisper, looking over his friends beautiful face. The silence was speaking.

Cas took a deep breath. He moved his arm back and wrapped it quietly around Dean's middle.

"I figured that I'm probably in love with you."

The silence was complete. Void of breath.

"...Probably?" Dean asked quietly, with a small laugh, fearful of the tension.

Cas thought for a moment, "Definitely."

Dean turned away, arm still around Cas, gathering himself. It wasn't how he expected this conversation to go.

"Cas..." Was all he could form. How was he supposed to respond to something like that?

"Don't worry Dean," he said. "I expected nothing to come of it. Angels are timid in this area. And I know you are not obligated to feel the same. Plus my appearance is not of preference to you. But I have been proud of myself for realizing my own feelings, and I wanted you to know...about them."

Dean was quiet and Cas was concerned he had made a mistake.

"Friends?" He offered. Dean looked at him, still unsure, but he nodded and pulled him gently for a hug. Cas wrapped his arms so tightly he grabbed the sides of Dean's jacket.

"Cas," Dean said. "Don't ever change."

Their cheeks were touching. Cas was more sure then he had ever been.

"I won't."

The held the hug, both not wanting to let go. Cas sighed again.

"How do you feel about me Dean?" He whispered in a way that was so unlike himself.

It would have been easy. Tell Cas he was his best friend. That he loved him like he loved Sam or Charlie. He could have said anything. But the truth had silenced him. He wanted the hug to be brotherly but he found himself clinging for dear life.

"Dean?" Asked Cas after a spell. When the silence became too strange, he pulled away only slightly to find the answer in his face. Dean had tears in his eyes.

"Dean. Why are crying? I'm sorry Dean, I didn't...I didn't mean to..."

But Dean shook his head. The apology had triggered more sadness and he let out a small sob.

He couldn't figure it out, the sudden sadness. He mind swirled with images. His fathers grimacing at two men holding hands. The way Cas looked after he betrayed them. The way Cas looked in purgatory. All his anger, all his sadness, regret and pain came bubbling to the surface in the form of tears. For years he had try to be a rock in a crumbling world, but now he was crumbling too.

"Dean...please."

Dean sniffled and wiped his face. "I'm sorry. I don't really know where that came from."

His emotions had bubbled away to reveal the source. The reason he had let Cas' actions affect him so much. He had hidden from it for so long. He felt so different, out of character, but better none the less.

"Was it because of me?"

Dean laughed suddenly. "Yes. Yes it was you son of a bitch."

He closed his eyes and put his teary lips on Cas. It was the strongest, most passionate kiss he had ever experienced. They both reacted instantly, and held each other tightly. For a moment, they forgot all the pain, haunting the past and lurking in the future. Dean was the one to pull away, slowly and minimally.

"I'm sorry Dean," whispered Cas lovingly. "For everything I've done to you. I-I wish I could have seen this sooner."

Dean touched his face and stared into his eyes with every little bit of love he'd been holding back, not just from Cas but from everyone.

"You can't leave again Cas. I'm not going to let you anymore."

Cas kissed him, a soft peck. "I don't think that will be a problem."

And they shared the most endearing smile.

"I love you," Dean said, trying out the words for the first, tasting then. He hadn't said them for so long.

They kissed again, softly and surely, tongues dancing slowly. They held each other desperately, like it would be the last time. There was relief in the kiss. They both realized what they had truly wanted for so long, and it was a blessing. They were so engrossed in the embrace that they did not hear the younger Winchester come and go quietly.

Sam had walked up to the door, haphazardly left open. He saw the scene before he spoke and quickly backed away without a sound.

He sat next to Kevin in the dining room, mind swarming.

"Um...did something happen?"

Kevin's question made Sam snap out of it and explode in a peal of laughter.

"What!?"

Sam looked at the teenager with a grin, "Cas and Dean seem to have missed each other. A lot."

"What do you m-?" Kevin started, but he could see it in Sam's face. "No..."

Sam nodded.

Kevin laughed too, "I can't believe it! I've always...sorta wondered."

"Oh believe me, so have I. This is a good thing Kevin, we probably need this."

Sam had never had any fidgets to the scenario, and hope that Cas would help fill in the missing pieces of his brothers soul. Somebody had to.


End file.
